I’m back! I was out for far too long, with no valid excuses. None. Zero. I’m terribly sorry for my lack of writing and updating. This blog thing is hard!
My life the past few weeks has included family coming for one week, making the count of people living in my house go up to 17. With their visit came the arrival of a new obsession with crossword puzzles. Many of the members of this household are now fully hooked, along with my cousins and my aunt, who started it all.
On another note, the only pet that has ever been truly mine died last week. I don’t think that any of us realize how much it effects someone to lose a pet until we experience it ourselves. I know I didn’t.
Before last week, my life was so uneventful that I couldn’t even think of anything to write.
Which brings me to today, when I decided to suck it up and just write whatever the heck I want to.
Three things I like
In case you need something to entertain you, my favorite book recently is Pax Romana by J. H. Mende. Check it out. It’s short and I read it in a day, and it held my attention. (This is not a paid advertisement by the way. I just figured that if you need something to do as much as I do, you might appreciate the ideas.)
My playlist of songs I like includes anything Haley Reinhart, most things Country, and other randomness.
Lemon Mint candles are my new favorite kind.
Ok, warm up complete
Now that I’ve done the preliminary writing of things that are easy to write about, I can write about things I don’t fully understand.
Like how I’m the person at work who likes everyone and smiles, doing my best to stay positive, but the second I get in the car afterwards a switch flips and I become the antisocial, irritable person I so do not want to be. I could talk about how the person I am now is so far away from the person I want to be that I feel like there isn’t even a point anymore. It seems like I had it right at some point and now I lost it. So I hold on like crazy to the pieces of the person I was. But it’s not that I’m trying to pity myself, it’s that I want to share because I may not be the only one who needs to give herself grace for today.
And ain’t it funny that one can be surrounded by people that love them, yet still feel some weird kind of loneliness? To answer my own question, yes, yes it is. But that is how I’ve been feeling often lately.
In the midst of the weird things my brain has been putting me through, I get myself caught up in distractions. I’m so bored, but I’m also trying to find a way to distract myself. Usually through Netflix. I put off my emotions as much as I possibly can. Which, as it turns out, is not working very well. I start thinking that maybe there really isn’t a point to the way I live. Maybe the Bible just doesn’t have it right for me, since things don’t seem to work when I play by those rules.
in the middle of all this, gave a perfect reminder of people who felt similar to me. People who grew impatient, who lost hope. People we don’t normally like being compared to because we like to think we’re somehow “better.”
I’m reading through Exodus right now. And I read Exodus 32. The golden calf. The Israelites got tired of waiting, rebelled against God, lost trust in Him, and decided to try out a new god. A new way. And their journey wasn’t even close to over! They lost faith, they let it go. They received the consequences of that.
As I was reading, it just seemed like God was telling me “Don’t give up. I’m still here, but see how easy it is to forget that? See how easy it is to lose trust because something goes differently than planned?”
Which is why I need grace this week.
Don’t give up, my friends. There’s grace for you too, just take it.